Masthead header

Shooting Star Silhouettes Workshop at WPPI

***02-24-14 edit***

So I’ll be honest – the main reason I decided to offer this workshop during WPPI is to raise enough money to pay for a magician to perform at a party.

If I get 5 people, we can buy 1 hour of magic.

Please help the cause and support this rare art. Because really, if you don’t love magic, I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.



Not to be biased, but one of my favorite wedding photos that I’ve taken was the one you see at the bottom of this post.

It ALSO happens to have earned me a lot of attention on social media, a strong relationship with the venue I shot it at, and of course – it’s one of the main images my prospective clients always mention when meeting up at a consult.

I love doing this kind of photography, and I feel it stands out as some of the most compelling styles of imagery you can achieve with your work.

So I’ve decided to entertain the idea of holding a mini-workshop for up to 5 individuals while at WPPI this year.  The conference is timed to be perfectly set for optimal conditions for this kind of photo (new moon) – and the desert outside of Las Vegas will provide for some pretty clear skies.  I think it’s important to have a small group in order to ensure that everyone gets the individual attention they deserve – and it also helps a lot with scheduling.  For now, I’m thinking either Sunday (the 2nd) or Monday (the 3rd) – whichever works best for the group will dictate it.  We’ll head out around 8-9 PM.


The cost would be $200 per person, and here’s what that would cover:

-Transportation to & from the location in the desert during the night of the shoot

-Model male and female provided to create silhouette & various posing options

-Off-camera lighting and tripods provided so you don’t have to worry about bringing your own or having to rent

-Explanation of technique and strategy to achieve this shots – and the conditions that affect how good the shot might be (moon, location, etc) so you’ll know how to prepare yourself in the future

-You’ll leave with a badass shot you can put smack-dab on the front of your portfolio, and if the conditions don’t allow us (clouds, weather)- you’ll get your money back.  I want you to win, and I’m on your team.   If you lose, I lose.  We’re in this together.

I feel strongly about the value in this kind of shot – and I don’t want you walking away feeling like you wasted your time/money on this conference.  I have no doubt in my mind that if for nothing else – this little workshop will give you a huge boost in marketing and helping your portfolio.

If you’re interested – please get in touch by sending an email to




And as always – if you know someone who might be interested in this post – I’d love it if you’d “share” this with them.




Kate - Aghhhh not going to WPPI this year but I agree; have one in a San Diego desert soon please!!! :)February 24, 2014 – 9:48 am

Cindy - dang i totally missed out! Not that I was going to go to WPPI….if you have a workshop like this at at dessert in San Diego, I’ll sign up!March 20, 2013 – 12:30 pm

Case of the Fridays – Trumpet Player Rico DeLargo

Today I’ve chosen Rico DeLargo, an exotic trumpet player based out of San Diego for this week’s installment of “Case of the Fridays.”  He headlines events and venues all over the states, and travels more frequently than I do.  Being an independent musician that can obtain that level of demand is a tough thing to do – and his work has caught my eye (and ear) for awhile now.

Rico DeLargo at Fluxx


I specifically chose Rico because of how he demonstrates passion for his work.  When he talks about his music and his motivation for doing so, it really shows through.  He also makes an effort to reach out and inspire others in local high schools, and offer bits of inspiration to his followers online.  He also appears to lead a very glamorous and luxurious lifestyle – however I think you’ll find his insight on those issues pretty interesting!

Here’s a photo of us while doing the interview.  We met at my favorite mexican restaurant, Oscars in north Pacific Beach.

Hope you enjoy the interview – and if you know someone who might be interested in Rico’s story – I’d love it if you shared it with them!


Rico DeLargo Musician


What is your name/age?


Rico DeLargo 32 Years Young


What is your occupation?


Musician – Vibe Elevator


Where did you grow up?


Gloucester, VA.  It was awesome.  It was a small town in the countryside with horses in the backyard – like a real country boy.


How long have you been doing what you currently do?


5 years


Did you have a 9-5 job before that?


I did!  It was more like 9-9.  I was directory of entertainment for a lifestyle marketing firm.


How did you become involved in the work that you currently do?


Well, I’ve been perf in nightclubs since I was 16 & 17 years old – now I’m playing alongside DJ’s instead of other musicians.  I started doing that when I was on south beach.  Some Brazilians were throwing some parties and invited me to bring my horn, it was a hit and that’s where it really got ahold.


How much longer do you envision yourself working in the field that you’re in?


1 year, maybe 2.  I love to inspire and motivate people – I feel whatever comes next will involve a great deal of that.  I want to enhance people’s lives in some way.  Vibe elevation in an entirely different spectrum.


What level of schooling have you completed?




What is it that you love about your work?


The opportunity to win people over.  What I do is really different and unique.  When I first pull my horn out, people are anticipating something to happen, but they don’t know what.  Winning them over and elevating their vibe with the sound coming from my mind and my heart – truly rewarding.


What is your least favorite thing about your work?


The travel.  Late nights and early flights.  Flying hungover, to put it more bluntly.


Is there anything you miss about life back home?


The tempo.  It’s a slower pace, and I live life in the fast lane right now.  When I go home and get to just go back to that lower gear and unwind


What are some of the advantages of your job compared with the regular corporate career?


I have a lot of control over my schedule – it has a lot of flexibility.  Keeping in touch with friends in different cities and having actual face time with them is pretty sweet.


What are some of the disadvantages compared with the regular corporate career?


Barely see your family.  Inconsistent sleep.  Insomnia.  I had insomnia for a year.  A lot of shallow people in the industry I work in.


How different is the dating scene for you?  Is it easier/harder to make time to be with your significant other?


My schedule is not very conducive for nurturing a relationship.  It’s something I’ll want down the line – more time with someone special.  (This girl is special to me – she’s ions above any other woman in my life.)  I just need more time – I’m never home.  How do you grow a relationship when you’re never around?  It’s like trying to keep a plant without watering it.


Do you tend to prefer to live paycheck to paycheck or with a savings plan accounted for?  Is your income predictable and regular, or entirely dependent on what you produce?


Up until now, paycheck to paycheck was fine.  Now, as I’m getting older – I’m understanding the value of having that little bit tucked away.

Before, it was all about being in the moment – that was all that mattered.  If I could go back and change my approach earlier, I would have.  Take 10% of everything and just put it away.  Not touch it.


How do you imagine your retirement, or lifestyle past 60?


Laying at the beach everyday.  Living an extremely healthy lifestyle.  Being in really great shape, and continuing to help others in some way.  Giving back to the community.  Still trying to inspire young people in a way.


Do you see your career facilitating a lifestyle suitable for a family, or do you have the desire to have a family?


My new dream is to have a family.  I’m learning that my lifestyle isn’t really that condusive to nurturing and sustaining a family the way I would want to.  That’s one of the main reasons I’m looking to change my career within the next 2 years.  I want to take the proper footsteps to allow for a family.  I’d consider a 9-5, but after having my own business for 5 years – I’m not sure that I can work for someone else.  But if I had to in oreder to support my family, I’d do anything.  I’d work at 7-11 if it meant putting food on the table for my family.


What are your top priorities in the ‘big picture’?


Helping others, I think giving is the best way of learning when it comes to that kind of “big picture” and what’s meant to be spirituality.  I think the key is to give whole heartedly and genuinely.  How can I give more?  How can I give more of myself, my knowledge, and a helping hand to other people?  Those are the things I think about.

Learning more about myself.  Evolving as a man.  That’s my priority.  I think about that everyday.  How can I evolve as a man and grow?


If you had any advice to someone just graduating college or thinking about switching careers, what would it be?


Make networking your number 1 priority.  Building and utilizing a network is essential to almost any career or job.  And obtaining a job!


If someone wanted to do your job, what is important to maintain a position?


Confidence.  That’s the biggest thing.  Being comfortable in any situation.


Who inspires you?


My parents.  Nature.  Fuck, that sounds so hippy but it’s true.  The things around me – you know – my surroundings.  And music.  Definitely music.


What do you think of authority?


There were a few instances in my life growing up where I had some trouble with authority.  I tend to be a lone wolf and tend to make my own rules.  That’s why I have an entrepreneurial spirit – that’s where it comes from.  There’s no doubt in my mind that authority figues have tought me a tremendous amount and mentored me to be the person I am today.  As I grew older – I think I realized the value of those above me.  I listended more, and truly – genuinely listened.  Take in what they were saying so I could use it to my advantage.


What did you get into the most trouble for when you were young?


I had detention one time in my whole school career, and it was for talking to girls in class.  I was always very social.






What did you want to be when you want to be when you grew up?


A baseball player


What are some of your favorite sounds?


Birds – when I’m home in Virginia.  I love thunderstorms too.


What’s your favorite curse word?


Probably fuck, hahaha.


What’s your favorite memory from your past?


I definitely had the most beautiful childhood anyone could ever ask for.  Riding horses and playing baseball, and of course playing music.  Great memories laying on the beach in Miami with my friends.  Great memories of getting home when the sun was coming up in LV.


If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be, and why?


I’d be a cheetah.  It’s really sexy.  And, it’s fast, but it’s also gentle.


What are some of your favorite smells?


The smell of smoke from a chimney  – reminds me of my childhood.  The street after the rain.  The ocean.


If you were a character in a famous movie, who’s role would you play?


Oh, I would be Tony from Saturday night fever.  Of course.


If you could go back to any point in history for a month, what time period would you visit?


Probably the roman empire when Marcus Airelis was in power.


If there was one celebrity you’d like to punch in the face, who would it be?


I really can’t stand that guy from Magic Mike – what’s his name?

“Channing Tatum” the girl sitting next to us says.  Or maybe that girl from the latest batman.


If you had to obtain $1m illegally, how would you do it?


Something kind of robin hood esc.  Maybe extort a millionaire


Which long lost childhood object would you most like to find?


My big wheel.


What age do people become “old”, what’s the secret to staying young?


100.  Ticket to staying young is juicing.  And avoiding meat.


What’s your favorite quotation?


Believe and it will be.  I’m pretty sure I made it up.


If someone wanted to get in touch with you and ask you more about what it takes to get involved in your career, what would be the best way?


The contact page at


On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to get back to them?







Why hashtags and double-sharing are crippling your game

(An instagram manifesto by @timkingphoto)

This has been on my mind for awhile now, and I really feel like it’s time to get it out.  There are a few things people are doing on instagram that they believe are helping them…but *I* think they’re actually HURTING THEM!

So let’s get to it, shall we?


I’ve felt it out, seen the results, and read interviews with people who’re featured on the “popular page” regularly.  And to sum it up, followers from hashtags and the popular page are on average – the LEAST engaged followers and more often end up ‘unfollowing’ at some point anyways.  They don’t know you from Adam, so they feel the *least* compelled to keep you on board.

And now this next point is from *my personal opinion*…but I feel hashtags come across as spam.  You look at a photo and go to read the description…and it’s LOADED FULL with # signs.  Half the experience of photography is understanding the story behind it, and in my opinion – hashtags have no place.  (Unless they’re ironic, funny, intentional play on themselves)

And furthermore, to get a little *deeper into the psyche*…I feel that when your FRIENDS see this on your feed, it comes across as though you’re posting to get the attention of OTHERS, and not *them*.  Who are you posting your content for?  And why are you posting it?

The focus should be on creating engaging content, and I feel that hashtags #distract.

2.  Double sharing on facebook is throwing yourself under the bus.

I might be erring on the extreme on this one, but when I see the same thing twice during my daily stalk – I wonder…what’s the point?

Why am I following them on Instagram if I see the same sh*t on facebook?


Sorry to be a jerk, but really – I don’t need to see your stuff twice.  And I’m betting that others feel the same way.

And you know what…?

“Say Facebook ends up going down the Myspace route and people head for the hills and on to something new.”  What will you have left?  An empty instagram because everyone unfollowed you due to your double posting and hashtag calamity.

I know that hashtags definitely do have their value in connecting others, but in my opinion – the experience of the people who *actually do* know me is worth so much more not to bombard them with pound signs.

If you want to discuss or leave a love/hate comment, I’d be happy to hear from you below in the comments.



BONUS FUN FACT ABOUT HASHTAGS - for those of you that *absolutely* must have their photo featured in the #selfie gallery, rest assured that you can add hashtags WEEKS after you’ve posted the photo and it will still work the same way!  




What you didn’t read on facebook – the reasons why I follow and *don’t* follow certain people.

Why I follow you:

-you’ve got interesting content.  Like, REALLY interesting.  I’m talking about a life of adventure or an alternative career…not just expeditions to Potato chip rock on a wednesday.  I like keeping up with the day-to-day of people who lead unique lifestyles.  Sometimes I know them, sometimes they’re still a stranger.

-you’re close to me and I talk to you on a weekly basis.  I like to keep up with people I’m in regular contact with because I can bring up a photo they posted in conversation the next time I talk to them.  If I have a ton of acquaintances on there, it can make it hard to keep up with those I really know and talk to.

-you make killer photos.  I love seeing great photography, but what really interests me is seeing posts of *different* perspectives.  It helps me think different and open my mind to new ideas, and I love that.
Why I don’t follow you:-you post a million pictures of your dog/baby.  I love dogs and kids are great – but too much of a good thing can get tiring.  Nuff said.

-you post memes, club flyers, notepad quotes, professional SLR pics, etc.  I feel Instagram should be a place for you to share personal photos – it’s not to promote a club, and it’s not Facebook or Pinterest.  It’s *also* not your photography portfolio – there’s a reason you have a website/blog.
-you post too much, or I don’t know you that well.  Again – it’s not Facebook.  Instagram isn’t meant for you to post 20 pictures in a row.  It’s not an album, it’s a daily post.  Like I said above, I like to be able to keep up with the ones I’m close to, and if you’re clogging up the feed with 20 #selfies of you in a snuggie with your chihuahua, it can get in the way.-you never post. 
Hope this cleared things up!  If you like what I wrote, I’d love it if you “shared” this post!


Here’s one of my favorite #selfies, just for the hell of it.


elyse renae - i am *very* grateful that i crossed this today.
a repeat offender on a few of these points, however, this make so much sense.
time to switch up my social media game!
best bonus? time SAVER!February 21, 2013 – 1:59 pm

Case of the Fridays – Celebrity Hairstylist Sherri Belanger

Today I’ve chosen hair stylist Sherri Belanger for this week’s “Case of the Fridays“.  Based out of LA, her clients have been known to commute from San Francisco and San Diego just to have their hair done by her.   While she is very modest and prefers to retain client confidentiality & trust (sign of a great service provider), TV actresses that have starred in The Office, Glee, and several big name movies have gone to her to make them look good.  (Here’s one of my favorite shots I’ve taken of her)


I specifically chose Sherri because of her always-progressing attitude towards work and her openness to helping others.  As I’ve come to find, a lot of times well-established people aren’t always open to sharing their stories of success, and it’s refreshing to see someone that understands an abundance mentality and continues to help others grow.  She has a blog where she shares pointers and how-to videos, and I think it’s incredibly resourceful for anyone looking to grow their skills in her industry.

Here’s a photo of us to give you a visual for the interview – I met her while she was getting her hair done.  Decided to have a little fun and jump in the chair myself.

Hope you enjoy the interview – and if you know someone who might be interested in Sherri’s story – I’d love it if you shared it with them!




What is your name/age?


Sherri Belanger 29


What is your occupation?


Celebrity Hair Stylist


Where did you grow up?


Methuen, Massachusetts


How long have you been doing what you currently do?


10 Years


Did you have a 9-5 job before that?


I’ve actually only had 1 – when I was 15, I did sales at a tanning salon.  It wasn’t 9-5, it was an after school type thing.  Full time hours, but I worked there while in beauty school too.


How did you become involved in the work that you currently do?


Since I was a child, I had a love & obsession with hair.  For me it was never a question in my mind.  As soon as I finished HS, went straight to cosmetology school.  I had really bad hair when I was little, and I think that might have been what inspired me.


How much longer do you envision yourself working in the field that you’re in?


One day I feel like I may be a salon owner, however I’ll always be involved in hair care in some way.


What level of schooling have you completed?


I received my cosmetology license after HS.  1600 hours of schooling, it took me about a year and 2 months because I had a job as well.


What is it that you love about your work?


First and foremost I love people – I love getting to know them & making them feel good, helping them bring their inner most beauty out through their hair, helping them find their inner confidence through that, getting creative with styling, and the relationship you build with clients is amazing.


What is your least favorite thing about your work?


Our job can be very physically demanding.  You can stand up to 10 hours a day, barely have any time for a break or to use the bathroom.  It can take a lot out of you.


Is there anything you miss about life back home?


My family of course.  I love the east coast and the kind of people.  I moved here when I was 13 because my parents wanted to offer us more opportunity and get away from the snow.   At the time is was most devastating, but in turn became the biggest blessing.


What are some of the advantages of your job compared with the regular corporate career?


I can make my own schedule, essentially it’s up to me how much money I want to make.

I can be creative in how I look (hair makeup) while on the job,  if I want to take a month off to travel – I can.

If I wanna work 15 hrs/day 7 day/week I can.

It’s never the same thing everyday, and the people along the way can change your life - people open up about very personal things and share their life lessons…and through them I can learn as well.


What are some of the disadvantages compared with the regular corporate career?


Job security, we have to pay for our own medical benefits – there’s no guarantee that we’ll have future business.

Nothing is ever just going to come to you – you have to work really hard in order to sustain and achieve success.  No sick days or 401K, work late nights/early mornings, Saturdays/weekends, sometimes an important client wants their hair done at 5 AM.  The advantages totally outweight these though.


How different is the dating scene for you?  Is it easier/harder to make time to be with your significant other?


It can be easier for sure – once you are successful and have the option for weekend getaways you definitely can.  It doesn’t start that way, but it can snowball into that.  You get to meet a lot of people that want to set you up, so it’s a total advantage really.


Do you tend to prefer to live paycheck to paycheck or with a savings plan accounted for?  


I love saving money.  I’ve always put away money and liked to have a savings account – we also have to pay taxes in one big chunk during the year so we have to have a lot saved up for that.


How do you imagine your retirement, or lifestyle past 60?


Not sure if I’ll still be ‘doing hair’, but hopefully at that time I’ll own a really successful kickass salon somewhere in San Diego.  I’ll continue to have my hands in it.  There will never be a moment that I wont be passionate about hair and beauty.


Do you see your career facilitating a lifestyle suitable for a family, or do you have the desire to have a family?


Yes.  100%  Hair dressers make their own schedule.  You can choose to work only 3 days/week – it’s a business that allows you to be completely in control of your life.  It’s very likely to just work 4 hrs per day and make a substantial amount of money.

Truthfully, it starts out with a very humble beginning.  A lot of hair stylists have to move back home and put in a lot of work investing in yourself and your skill.  It’s kind of a slow, snowball effect and it takes time.  I don’t know any stylists that were making 6 figures in their first few years.  You can make it happen for sure, but you gotta work really hard.  A lot of stylists first start out with a part time job in addition to styling.


What are your top priorities in the ‘big picture’?


Making an impact in someway – helping people in any way that I can.  Making people feel good.

I love traveling and I want to have a family.  Being healthy, happy, and just living each day to the fullest – doing things that make me feel good.  Success is really just what you make of it.  Money’s not everything, but I just want to make enough to live comfortably.


If you had any advice to someone just graduating college or thinking about switching careers, what would it be?


If you have something itching inside of you to possibly be a hairstylist and make it a career – but you have a fear that you wont make money or people will criticize your decision, I think you have to ask yourself what the worst case scenario could be.  Not making money?  Starting over?  Not like it & find another job?  Ask yourself if you can handle that…and if so – go for it.   You can be super successful and make tons of money if you really want it.  There was a time when I was younger when I thought I wouldn’t make much money doing hair, and that was my mindset of what success was at the time – and I almost didn’t pursue it.


If someone wanted to do your job, what is important to maintain a position?


You have to be willing to put the time in and work hard – not expect things to be given to you.  Advanced training classes, hair shows, salons offer education, I started as an assistant – went to NYC to study at Bumble and Bumble about 8 times, the salon I started at required me to go to classes 2x a week and do photo shoots.  Early on set the tone for what it’d be like later.  Social media marketing.  Doing excellent service.  Keeping cutting edge.  Doing the most beautiful hair ever.  And put your heart into it.  It’s not just about getting their hair done, but making them feel pampered and relaxed & that they’re getting their money’s worth.


Who inspires you?


Passionate, positive people, individuals that don’t give up and believe in themselves.  Find the good in bad situations.


What do you think of authority?


Ha, I have a guilty conscience if I do bad things, but I definitely agree that some rules were meant to be broken.


What did you get into the most trouble for when you were young?


Probably talking too much in school.  I think I talked a lot.  I’d get grounded from the phone as a recurring punishment.  Sometimes I’d eat my packed lunch during class.  I loved to eat.






What did you want to be when you want to be when you grew up?


Dorothy from the wizard of oz – I loved her pigtails.


What are some of your favorite sounds?


The ocean.  Sitting in a jungle.  Bamboo hitting bamboo.


What’s your favorite curse word?


I probably drop F bombs a lot, is that bad?  I don’t do it at work, but I kind of cuss a lot, haha.


If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be, and why?


A monkey.  I just love monkeys so much.


What are some of your favorite smells?


I love the smell of the leaves in New England during the fall.  The smell of Gardenias and lilacs – we used to have lilacs at my house growing up, so I love that.


If you were a character in a famous movie, who’s role would you play?


I’d be aerial in Little Mermaid, she had great hair.


If you could go back to any point in history for a month, what time period would you visit?


I’d love to visit when my parents were teens during the mid 70’s, rocking hippy hair and bell bottoms.  I think it’d be incredible to live in that and experience that kind of era – a permanent party.


If you had to obtain $1m illegally, how would you do it?


Taking a Vegas casino by counting cards.


Which long lost childhood object would you most like to find?


When I moved from Mass – SD, my friends would write me letters.  I’d have anything from 1-5 letters each day.  For whatever reason my family moved a few times…and in the process my letters got lost.  I found a lot of strength in those letters.



What age do people become “old”, what’s the secret to staying young?


I think you’re never old – it’s all in your mind.  Your body might break but you don’t have to succomn to it…maintaining the young mindset is what it takes.


What’s your favorite quotation?


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.


If someone wanted to get in touch with you and ask you more about what it takes to get involved in your career, what would be the best way?


Sure!  They can get in touch via my Facebook business page.

On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to get back to them?



Chance - Great interview Tim – keep up the good work. Sherri, congratulations on achieving exactly what you want to do in life. Continue to live life with that strong positive attitude!February 19, 2013 – 12:42 pm

Ryan - Really enjoying your “Case of the Fridays”. Keep them coming!February 18, 2013 – 8:12 pm

Max - Wow she is gorgeous! Great interview tooFebruary 15, 2013 – 11:18 pm

Jamie - Awesome post. She genuinely seems kind and caring – and you can tell by the way she talks about the client experience. Bravo Sherri!February 15, 2013 – 11:18 pm

Alexa - Great interview on this one Tim! She is definitely right about the amount of time and dedication it takes – it’s especially not easy starting out. This one hit home for me, and some day I hope to be at her level.February 15, 2013 – 11:17 pm

Barbara - So poud of you sweetie.February 15, 2013 – 5:33 pm

Don Belanger - Love the fact that you’d want to go back to me and mom’s teenage years, and yes it was a non stop party! And you are right, you did talk to much when you were younger. We considered getting you a t-shirt back then with the slogan: “I’m Talking and I can’t Shut Up!” – love you hon!February 15, 2013 – 4:53 pm

crystal trotter - I’ve been lucky enough to know Sherri since her days at the tanning salon where I was a client. She is the most beauitful person I know inside and out. I was one of her first clients in San Diego and am also one who makes the trek up to Hollywood to see her. I have been through a lot in my life and going to Sherri is a release, time to feel pretty and pampered and most of all a time to reflect on what positives I can draw from life. Funny that getting your hair done can do that to someone! Sherri’s geniune concern for her clients makes it *more* than just getting your hair done. She is an amazing person that I feel blessed to know.February 15, 2013 – 12:28 pm

Flirt with your wife

Last night, I met up with my 7th grade girlfriend at a speakeasy bar in New York City.  We entered the place through a phone booth in the back of a restaurant and took a seat at the bar among 30 other people.  We tried some new cocktails, and after catching up for a bit – we got into a really interesting conversation about flirting.  I thought some of the ideas were so insightful…that I thought I’d share them with you.


We’ve all been to that point in a relationship where things get a little stagnant.  (Usually it occurs around the 6 month to 1 year mark)  And after awhile of putting your best foot forward trying to win her heart over and make a great impression, you realize you’ve got her.  She’s yours.  And you are hers.


And with that, we get tempted to relax a little bit – we don’t need to put forth so much effort into winning affection because we’re both secure & comfortable in knowing that we’re in it together now.


But here’s the thing…while you were busy getting her roses and treating her to romantic and creative nights out on the town – what do you think was going on in her head?


It sets the expectation for what the future is going to be like with you.


And what happens when you decide to stop putting forth so much effort to try to win her over and impress her?


She’ll think you don’t care…or maybe that you’re not as interested as you used to be.  And that’s not cool.


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard couples complain that the other doesn’t recognize the things they do for each other or that they don’t show appreciation.


But guess what ladies?  It works both ways!


Of course it’s more comfortable to wear ugg boots and throw your hair up in a sock bun.


And of course it’s more comfortable to stay in and order pizza while playing Halo 3 in your gym shorts.


But as you could probably guess – those aren’t the most exciting nights we’ll experience.


Now I’m not saying that you can’t do these things and you shouldn’t be completely comfortable in front of one another – what I’m getting at is that vigor and that passion that came through in the first few months…what happened to it?


Well…I suppose it fades over time with the lack of needing to “win each other over”.


You want to know how you can rekindle that feeling…without having to go to all the extra effort and energy?




I don’t mean “hit on her” and spank her ass while she’s doing the dishes.  (But don’t dismiss the idea completely – some girls love that kind of thing)


What I want to encourage is the idea of being playful.  It doesn’t take much effort to have a little fun with someone randomly throughout the day – and it actually makes a HUGE difference in their attitude.


Try it.  Have fun.  Play a prank on them.  It might come as a surprise after so much time of being predictable…but once you start it…




And trust me – it will add a whole new element to your day and to your LIFE that will make it much more enjoyable.


Make a funny impression of her.  Give her a nickname.  Text her funny pictures that remind you of her in a silly way during the day.  Make fun of her in a playful way. Wrestle her and pin her to the ground, and do the hanging spit thing you’d do to your sister growing up.  (She’ll hate it, but it’s fun as hell for us)


Girls – throw on some heels and do your hair just for the hell of it, wake him up with that special alarm clock that nothing else can compare to, and if you REALLY want to make him feel like a man – have a conversation with a friend over the phone just loud enough for him to hear and brag about something he’s done recently.  You can bet your sweet ass he’ll be more inclined to do it again.


On another note – I interviewed a guy for an upcoming “Case of the Fridays” post and he responded to the question of when do people get old – with the most original response I’ve heard yet – “when they stop having sex”.  Hit the nail on the head.


Point is with this post – a lot of times we get caught up thinking “why aren’t they doing things for me like when we first started dating?”  And we jump to conclusions that make the relationship seem unfulfilling.


But don’t let your mind go there – instead…let your mind think about how you can make her life more enjoyable and more fun.


Yeah, maybe she WON’T understand it.  Maybe she won’t appreciate it at first.  But she’ll notice you’re making an effort.  You’re thinking about HER, and making it a point to have fun WITH HER.


And in reality…when you REALLY think about it…she is the most important person in your life!  Show her that she is.  (Could you imagine your life without her?)


I have a pretty good feeling it will end up well for you – not just the end of the night but your time with each other as a whole.


It might take being the bigger person, and realize that the world isn’t always going to recognize the effort you put forth – and a lot of times you’ll end up unrewarded.  But that doesn’t change the fact that you add enjoyment to their life on a daily basis.  And THAT is where the motivation should come from.


So go have some fun.  Surprise her.  Do something spontaneous.  Surprise her with some costumes one night and get weird together.  Yeah that’s right!  Get weird together, she’ll love it.


Happy Valentines Day


PS – this is a photo from an engagement session I shot in Santa Monica a few months ago – here’s Jenn smashing a cupcake into her fiance’s face.  I feel it shows the kind of playfulness people should embrace and take lightheartedly!


PPS – this doesn’t just apply to couples.  Flirting with people and just generally having playful fun with anyone will do wonders for your overall attitude in life.




If you enjoyed this post and feel like others can benefit from reading, I’d love it if you shared it.

Bob Dylan - He that is not busy being born is busy dying…March 6, 2013 – 9:45 pm

Holly - Wow! I love the colors in that picture!!March 6, 2013 – 12:33 pm

Feuza - My husband needs to read this! so trueFebruary 26, 2013 – 10:15 pm

Ryan Naman - Well put , the spontaneity of life is lost in our mundane day to day rituals and routines …. I think Everyone can take those words and positively put them into action because doing nice things for people you care about , like you say , should be all the motivation you need!!

Thank You!February 17, 2013 – 11:52 am

Ariel - Loved this post. You really articulated that kind of progression of impressing/comfort really well. Couldn’t help but laugh at the spit comment lol we hate that!!!February 14, 2013 – 10:16 pm

Lisa - I think DOING the dishes is way more surprising. :)February 14, 2013 – 7:06 pm

Alyssa - Love this post! So true and so honest, thanks for writing this Tim – I’ve really been enjoying your posts lately.February 14, 2013 – 6:06 pm

Leanne - Been really enjoying your blog posts lately! You have a great way of combining fun and wisdom !February 14, 2013 – 11:58 am

Carol Adams - Loved the picture of the adorable couple!February 13, 2013 – 10:11 pm

Cheryl Reeser Ruse - Great thoughts!February 13, 2013 – 8:36 pm

ashley goodwin - Awwwww, this is a sweet one, Tim!
And I LOVEEEEEEEEE that photo at the bottom, the colors speak to me (plus it’s cute!).February 13, 2013 – 8:28 pm

Anna - Love the pic! Props to the camera assistant :)

AnnaFebruary 13, 2013 – 8:11 pm